Leaving

Leaning on the railing and looking back at the lights of the city, he thought for a moment he could hear music floating across the bay, but the big screws churned up the ocean in a soft splashy roar. His mind flashed a picture of the faces he was leaving behind. Would he see them again? He longed to hold them one last time. To tell them everything he always seemed to hold inside, but felt deep and buried, bright diamonds in a mine. In moments like these he had such eloquent, sweet words for them, just the right things to say. He knew if they were in front of him, the words would melt away for another time. He was heading straight into the heart of it, and the dread was absolute. He watched safety and comfort slowly shrinking away in the soft shadows of a half moon. So much of him wanted to jump right over that railing and run across the water to shore. To be off this ship. Somewhere off to starboard, the bell on a buoy clanged with the rhythm of the harbor. He had heard it many times before, but this time it was ringing for him, for all of them.