There is always this stuff in my head that I want to share with both of you. I guess you could call them life lessons. But the time never seems right, and I’m not sure, at this early stage of your lives you would receive them with the spirit in which they are intended. By putting them here, I hope you can learn from my mistakes and maybe refer to them as you go forward, into what I’m sure will be good, rich, fulfilling lives. Some of these many sound negative, trite and jaded, but remember I have be living the corporate life for 25 years. “The horror, the horror.” Bonus points if you can name the movie that’s from.

Never trust anyone at work. Remember these are your competitors, not your friends. They will get what they want out of life by looking better then you, and you need to do the same. This is not to say you will not meet good, honest people at the places you work, but not many. I can’t tell you how many people I thought really cared about me as a person, only to have them forget my name when it stopped doing them good. Denise calls them artificial relationships, because you would not celebrate any of these people’s birthday if you didn’t happen to have the same job. Like everyone, but trust no one.

As tempting as it is, you never look good when you speak ill of others. Try to take the high road; you will go further, and with fewer bumps. Remember, cubicle walls are very thin.

Sell yourself. When you do your job, do it the absolute best you can, but you have to sell it too. In corporate America, the work does not speak for itself. Sometimes it feels like shameless self promotion, and it is, but you need to speak up. When your sitting in that meeting, and your quiet, people don’t assume you’re deep and thoughtful, just the opposite, they will think your scared and without anything valuable to contribute. But pick your moments to speak, don’t talk without having something to say.

No matter what your chosen profession becomes, learn to speak well in public. Force yourself. If you can speak well in front of a group, you will be confident and much more effective. It will be terrifying at first, and in the beginning you will be bad at it. Grit you teeth and push through that. It is one of those things in life that anybody can do, and everybody gets better at it. I worked at a company that forced it’s programmers to speak in front of a large group of managers when they had work to present. The first time I did this I could barely get words out of my mouth, it was so embarrassing. By the third time, I was completely at ease and telling jokes. OK, they may have been bad jokes, but that’s beside the point. There are groups everywhere called Toastmasters where business people get together and practice this stuff, that’s how important it is.

Don’t stay at one company too long. Three to five years works best. You learn the most with new experiences and new challenges and meeting new people. You just won’t get that staying in the same company for 20 years. Never stop learning, never stop evolving and growing. Challenge yourself.

Travel. You work hard so you can have a good life, don’t forget the good life part. Dance. Sing. Make friends. Howl at the moon. Drink Champagne. Climb mountains. Go to Chargers games; take your Dad.

Fall in love, but don’t get married. I’m not saying I don’t want you to have a lifetime commitment to a person you love, I’m all for that. But there is no reason you have to sign a business contract to prove it. Also, remember the words of Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck (only the greatest movie every made) “Love doesn’t make things right, it ruins us. It breaks our hearts.” You will have your heart broken, it comes with the territory. People can write volumes about this stuff, I’m just not one of them.

Shower the people you love with love. The world can be a cold, cruel, hard place. Your family are the only people you can truly trust (Godfather reference here) Show them love, everyday you live. Don’t yell at them, teach them, don’t give them anger, give them understanding and empathy and hugs and kisses.

Have children. I’m not just saying that so I can continue my abruptly ended coaching career, hello I was 22-1-2 my last two seasons… Have children so you will know what true love is. And then let me coach them.


Melanie, lots of people will tell you what you can’t do, ignore every single one of them. You are powerful.
Sean, always keep a little bit of the boy alive and never completely grow up, Keep the magic.