Love on the Rocks
I went to a "wedding" on Saturday evening. You can probably guess why wedding is in quotes. It was a small but elegant affair, overlooking the ocean from a cliff in San Diego. The weather was perfect, a warm enchanting 80 degrees, as the sun began to set into the Pacific. The ceremony and reception where both taking place on a big seaside patio. The tables were glittering with immaculate place settings underneath huge clear plastic tents. Below our feet the waves were big and burly and crashing into the rocks with a muscular spray. It was stunning.
As the sun started to dip below the horizon, the ceremony began. As Tina and Tanya started to exchange their vows, It struck me that this is what a loving commitment to someone should be. No court documents, no state law, no lawyers or prenups, just friends and family and a promise. I promise to love you and be faithful to you and look out for your well being, in other words I got your back baby.
How can you possibly wrap a business contract around something so personal as love. I don't have a contract with my children, and yet I still some how find a way to love and cherish them. Although there are days when.... [thought bubble: Homer with his hands around Bart's neck]
Monogamy is an oddity in the world of mammals, only 3-5% remain lifelong partners. With most marriages failing, and some that don't train wrecks, why do we submit ourselves to these tangled balls of financial yarn. People fall in love, and people fall out of love, it's natural, it's the way things are.
"It's for protection, so someone can't just pick up and leave." Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to leave but stays just to avoid financial ruin. "If you love a person you should make a real commitment to that person." I am perfectly able to commit to someone without a legal document, and it is real. "Your stupid" Point taken.
There are a whole group of people in this world, who love each other deeply, and make commitments to each other, buy houses together and yet are not allowed to marry. How do they manage all this without contracts and lawyers? It can be done.
As we signed in at the wedding on Saturday we were handed small rocks. At the end of the service we were asked to make a wish and throw the rocks into the tumbling surf. (I can't be certain but I do believe my rock went the furthest) That way the couple will know where their wishes are. How perfect. Life, love, relationships and happiness all stunningly turbulent, never still, always moving and fluid and changing. Even in turmoil, maybe because of it, always beautiful.
As the sun started to dip below the horizon, the ceremony began. As Tina and Tanya started to exchange their vows, It struck me that this is what a loving commitment to someone should be. No court documents, no state law, no lawyers or prenups, just friends and family and a promise. I promise to love you and be faithful to you and look out for your well being, in other words I got your back baby.
How can you possibly wrap a business contract around something so personal as love. I don't have a contract with my children, and yet I still some how find a way to love and cherish them. Although there are days when.... [thought bubble: Homer with his hands around Bart's neck]
Monogamy is an oddity in the world of mammals, only 3-5% remain lifelong partners. With most marriages failing, and some that don't train wrecks, why do we submit ourselves to these tangled balls of financial yarn. People fall in love, and people fall out of love, it's natural, it's the way things are.
"It's for protection, so someone can't just pick up and leave." Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to leave but stays just to avoid financial ruin. "If you love a person you should make a real commitment to that person." I am perfectly able to commit to someone without a legal document, and it is real. "Your stupid" Point taken.
There are a whole group of people in this world, who love each other deeply, and make commitments to each other, buy houses together and yet are not allowed to marry. How do they manage all this without contracts and lawyers? It can be done.
As we signed in at the wedding on Saturday we were handed small rocks. At the end of the service we were asked to make a wish and throw the rocks into the tumbling surf. (I can't be certain but I do believe my rock went the furthest) That way the couple will know where their wishes are. How perfect. Life, love, relationships and happiness all stunningly turbulent, never still, always moving and fluid and changing. Even in turmoil, maybe because of it, always beautiful.
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8:50 AM
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